Great post! I appreciated the intersection with disability studies. I’ll definitely read Surekha’s book.
Looking forward to your future post, “ Men are also the beneficiaries of feminism because feminism is the fight against patriarchy rather than a fight against men”
I have! And I haven’t gotten myself to look at it closely, though I should. I will admit to being a little afraid of doing so. I did not know about the period tracking app backed by Peter Thiel, of all people. Jessica Valenti (of Abortion, Everyday), has taken to calling it the “Bro-natalist” movement. It’s a good way to describe it.
This is so interesting and it's making me think about something I used to hear so much that I can't even remember when I first heard it or where it came from. The first time I heard someone say they didn't want children (or maybe the first time I said it out loud myself), the response was: "you're not a real woman unless you've given birth." And not for the last time. That seems to be the thread stretching from the sixteenth century to the present, connecting Anne Boleyn to trans women and all women who can't perform reproduction for the patriarchy.
That is really interesting. I have never heard that exact phrase (at least no one said that to me before I had kids). But I did use to hear a lot of couples say, after having children, “I don’t know why we didn’t do this sooner.” There was something kind of strange in the way they said it, like it was a justification as much to themselves as to anyone else. This is different than what you are saying - it has more to do with coupledom and marriage than with gender and women, I think — but it does point to this idea of “fulfillment” associated with children which may be an offshoot of the idea that “real women” have children. I never quite understood the sentiment.
Thank you for this wonderful post with all its deep insights. On a related, but not directly connected note, the historical concept of 'monstrous births' was very enlightening. I grew up in the country, with very country relatives. Even though other parts of the US were progressing to the Industrial Age, the Texas Hill Country remained countryified until LBJ brought it electricity in the 40's.
My grandparents were superstitious. They claimed they weren't. They said these things were just old wives' tales, but they weren't fully free of them. They believed in premonitions and the power of making something bad come about by thinking of it, i.e. the "jinx", among other things.
When I was pregnant with my son in 1984, my mother and I were driving through the country to see her mother when I saw a donkey in the field. Well, lo and behold, that donkey popped out a foal. I gasped and told Mother. She matter-of-factly said the old wives would have declared that witnessing such a thing meant my baby would be 'marked'. So, I immediately thought of this odd statement when reading about the 'monstrous birth'. These concepts stuck around for a long time in relatively unchanged form.
Thank you so much for sharing this. You are right - these ideas have not gone away. My own grandmother, who was raised in Asia, held many similar superstitions. You start to realize how many of these ideas come from fear of the unknown as well as cultural traditions that are passed down through the generations. In the 16th century, for instance, you definitely didn’t want to be riding a mule if you were trying to get pregnant, because “everyone knew” they impeded fertility.
And yet these same superstitions seem, on a meta level, to be trying to exert some sort of control over pregnancy and birth — a control that comes from outside and beyond the mother’s body. Makes you think….
That’s a pretty crazy coincidence that the donkey foaled right as you were driving by!
Thanks for the great essay and the shout-out to my new book, HUMANS: A MONSTROUS HISTORY! The recording of my book launch event at which you spoke on this is now on the Society for Renaissance Studies: https://www.crowdcast.io/c/monsters-human-history
Great post! I appreciated the intersection with disability studies. I’ll definitely read Surekha’s book.
Looking forward to your future post, “ Men are also the beneficiaries of feminism because feminism is the fight against patriarchy rather than a fight against men”
Thanks! That line from Surekha’s book was the impetus. All thoughts are my own! 😊 Ah, you flagged the footnote. Will get to work.
What an interesting article! I liked how it opened understanding ideas about women, acceptance, and newness. Thank you!
Thank you for reading and commenting. I really appreciate it! Feel free to share if you know anyone else who might be interested. 🙏❤️
Thank you for the fine article.
On another related note, have you heard of the magazine Evie, whose founders also own a period tracking app backed by Peter Thiel? https://www.nytimes.com/2025/03/21/style/evie-magazine.html
I have! And I haven’t gotten myself to look at it closely, though I should. I will admit to being a little afraid of doing so. I did not know about the period tracking app backed by Peter Thiel, of all people. Jessica Valenti (of Abortion, Everyday), has taken to calling it the “Bro-natalist” movement. It’s a good way to describe it.
This is so interesting and it's making me think about something I used to hear so much that I can't even remember when I first heard it or where it came from. The first time I heard someone say they didn't want children (or maybe the first time I said it out loud myself), the response was: "you're not a real woman unless you've given birth." And not for the last time. That seems to be the thread stretching from the sixteenth century to the present, connecting Anne Boleyn to trans women and all women who can't perform reproduction for the patriarchy.
That is really interesting. I have never heard that exact phrase (at least no one said that to me before I had kids). But I did use to hear a lot of couples say, after having children, “I don’t know why we didn’t do this sooner.” There was something kind of strange in the way they said it, like it was a justification as much to themselves as to anyone else. This is different than what you are saying - it has more to do with coupledom and marriage than with gender and women, I think — but it does point to this idea of “fulfillment” associated with children which may be an offshoot of the idea that “real women” have children. I never quite understood the sentiment.
Thank you for this wonderful post with all its deep insights. On a related, but not directly connected note, the historical concept of 'monstrous births' was very enlightening. I grew up in the country, with very country relatives. Even though other parts of the US were progressing to the Industrial Age, the Texas Hill Country remained countryified until LBJ brought it electricity in the 40's.
My grandparents were superstitious. They claimed they weren't. They said these things were just old wives' tales, but they weren't fully free of them. They believed in premonitions and the power of making something bad come about by thinking of it, i.e. the "jinx", among other things.
When I was pregnant with my son in 1984, my mother and I were driving through the country to see her mother when I saw a donkey in the field. Well, lo and behold, that donkey popped out a foal. I gasped and told Mother. She matter-of-factly said the old wives would have declared that witnessing such a thing meant my baby would be 'marked'. So, I immediately thought of this odd statement when reading about the 'monstrous birth'. These concepts stuck around for a long time in relatively unchanged form.
Thank you so much for sharing this. You are right - these ideas have not gone away. My own grandmother, who was raised in Asia, held many similar superstitions. You start to realize how many of these ideas come from fear of the unknown as well as cultural traditions that are passed down through the generations. In the 16th century, for instance, you definitely didn’t want to be riding a mule if you were trying to get pregnant, because “everyone knew” they impeded fertility.
And yet these same superstitions seem, on a meta level, to be trying to exert some sort of control over pregnancy and birth — a control that comes from outside and beyond the mother’s body. Makes you think….
That’s a pretty crazy coincidence that the donkey foaled right as you were driving by!
Agreed! And, I guess you can say my son was ‘marked’ because he was breech. Interesting superstition about mules which are sterile.
Thanks for the great essay and the shout-out to my new book, HUMANS: A MONSTROUS HISTORY! The recording of my book launch event at which you spoke on this is now on the Society for Renaissance Studies: https://www.crowdcast.io/c/monsters-human-history